A Bright, Vibrant Blue Diamond
A Bright, Vibrant Blue Diamond
John Æonid, Reflections in a Personal Web Site
John Æonid, Reflections in a Personal Web Site

Too Many Supposed Tos

July 14, 2021, John Æonid -- ROUGH DRAFT, STUB

I was at a family gathering.  And, there was this little girl sitting at a piano, seemingly lost in thought and plinking a key or two as she sat there.  Curious, I sat down next to her an started plink at a similar relaxed pace.  I was choosing pair of keys having some rudimentary musical meaning, but in a way to match the plinking of the little girl.  These were offerings of musical ideas.  They were meant to ask if she would notice they were offerings for her.  A game to play, perferably on her terms.

 

But, family gatherings are not a place for quiet moments.  The little girl was plinking at the piano because the grown ups were busy getting their social updates amongst each other.  I suppose it was inevitable.  A woman came over, with no mind whatsoever to what I was doing, and addressed the little girl with: "oh no dear, what your supposed to do is..."  And, she proceeded to begin some for of piano instruction.

 

The thing is, there are people on this planet who gaze at themselves in the mirror, and they just can't put their finger on who that person is supposed to be.  We put a lot of emphasis on raising children to become something.  And, there are a lot of different kinds of things to become. But tragically, there is little emphasis put on how to just be.

 

I should be careful with this.  The point I'm getting at is a little different than a discussion on self discovery.  That has meaning.  But, that can also have too many supposed tos.  We ulitimately do have to figure out what we can offer to the world for the purpose of making a living, and the too-many-supposed-tos of being yourself can make you what has come to be called a "special snowflake".  Yes, you do need to be yourself, but it's a good idea to figure out what you can market to the world.  Just don't get lost in the too-many-supposed-tos of that.

I should be clear about what I mean by "too many".  It means a quantity that causes problems.  Our sense of well being is diminished under such conditions.  It's the kind of thing that has people seeking out therapy.

 

Our culture is much busier than that of times passed.  There are many things to learn.  There are many things to do.  And, there are also many things to become.  There is also a cultural pressure to achieve, and there are many such things of that sort as well. 

 

This makes the question of who to become a problem.  And, it hints at the problem that we don't get to spend enough time just being.  That would be time you spend in which you are not becoming, not striving, and not imposing any cultural perspective on our selves.  There should be no coming or going.  There should be no fear of anticipation of what lies ahead.

 

One important point worth noting is that you can have a self at times when you have no who.

 

Just be.

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